Vintage Thingies Thursday: the book What to Do, When--and Why...

...or the "beauty" book that started it all!

We will be looking at the first etiquette/beauty book that began my collection for Vintage Thingies Thursday today.  When I was a pre-teen, I used to visit the three books below at my local library on a regular basis:

As you can probably tell by the covers, each book is very different from one another.  The theme that connects all three books is the subject of "behaving and looking your best" as a child and in the teen years.  I just couldn't get enough of them, and  I would check them out from the library over and over again.  My mother also had no idea why I was so fascinated by the books, and I couldn't explain it to her at the time.  Luckily, she decided to surprise me one day with my own copy of What to do When -- and Why.  And thus my beauty book collection was born!  (My mother also found a copy of the authors' etiquette book for children, White Gloves and Party Manners, many years later and I now have that in my collection as well).


Today we'll look at What to do When -- and Why, by Marjabelle Young Stewart and Ann Buchwald, published in 1975. Technically, this is an etiquette book and is only secondarily about personal beauty, as it is focused on personal conduct. However, there are five chapters about deportment that cross over into beauty book territory.  The authors discussed finding a becoming hair style, how to dress to flatter your figure, how important it is to monitor the volume of your voice, and how to walk like a fashion model.  I love the lacy and feminine illustrations in this book:

The last chapter, Manners for Boys Only, begins with a lament that "many of the old formalities concerning ladies and gentlemen have either disappeard completely or become easy-going personal choices...but some manners don't change because they're still useful and helpful when girls and boys start going places together."  Well, thifty-five years after the publication of this book I am assured that many of the manners that "haven't changed" are long gone. I find these expectations to be an interesting starting point for discussions about the  the evolution of courtesy and manners in the 21st century.  Here are some excerpts of the things that a well-mannered boy was expected to do in 1975, according to Stewart and Buchwald:

1.  Boys walk on the curb side of the street, whether its with one girl, two, or three.  If a girl stops to talk with a friend on the street, the boy walks on slowly -- the girl will call him back quickly if she knows the person well enough to make an introduction.

2.  Boys let women and girls go first whenever it's physically possible.

3.  Boys open doors for women. 

4.  Boys help women and girls put on their coats.

5.  Boys remove their hats the moment they step into a house, restaurant, an elevator, when the American flag goes by, when the National Anthem is being sung or played, and when standing on the street talking to a girl or woman.  He holds his hat, puts it down or checks it, but doesn't put it back on until he leaves.

6.  A boy always asks his party hostess for a dance during the evening; and at a dinner-dance the two women between whom he sat during dinner.

7.  A boy calls for a girl at her home by ringing the doorbell, entering the house, and greeting some member of the girl's family if only to say, "How do you do?" and shake hands.  Usually the girl's parents will make it clear to the boy when the girl is expected home -- a decision that has probably been discussed before he arrives so there is very little he can do to change it.

8.  A boy lets a girl go ahead of him when they go down the receiving line at a big party or dance.


Dear readers, what do you think about this list of manners for boys in this day and age?  Do you find many of these gestures antiquated and outmoded, or would you support a renaissance of courteous behavior from the opposite sex? 

 

Excerpts and and illustrations from What to Do When -- and Why by Marjabelle Young Stewart and Ann Buchwald.