Spring Cleaning?

via Pinterest

It's that time of year, isn't it?  And it's never as fun as she makes it look in the photo. 

I thought I'd re-post Peg Bracken's snarky and fun housekeeping tips from the I Hate to Housekeep book again this year for the reluctant housekeepers among my readership (we are a silent minority, I think!).   Reluctant to clean or not, everybody likes to live in a tidy space even if we would rather pursue our hobbies than clean house.  As such, I find some of Peg's practical advice, originally directed to the 1960s housewife, to be applicable today:

For the Reluctant Homemaker

A Few Housekeeping ABCs

Chores You Don't Have to Do

Fashion Cheats to Save You Money

And Peg's writing is always good for a laugh.

Do you have cleaning tips that make housekeeping faster, easier, or possibly even fun?  Feel free to share them here.

Fashion Cheats to Save You Money, Part Four of I Hate to Housekeep

It's true these days that most of the clothes that we buy are not built to last for more than a season (or two).  We all love a good bargain and love to show off a great bargain.  But some things we buy simply aren't bargains -- they don't last long enough to make it worth the expense, or worse yet, they look like a bargain (in Peg's words, they look "cheap").

Wouldn't you like some general tips about what type of clothing items you can save money on and still look good, and what you should save your pennies to buy?  In this final part of the I Hate to Housekeep series I'll share some of Peg's advice about your wardrobe that I believe has stood the test of time.

Doesn't the little girl in this Hillary Knight illustration look a lot like Eloise?

First a little advice from me: if you know the item is going to wear out quickly, I suggest buying it from the clearance rack, or even better, at a consignment or thrift store.

A personal example of this are cotton knit t-shirts because they are a basic wardrobe staple that I frequently wear with jeans. Over time they become stained, or the color washes out, or the cotton simply wears so thin that the fabric starts to look cheap. I'm not the type to spend upwards of $20 on a t-shirt so I know that it is best to buy low priced items that can head to the rag bag when they get ratty.

And here is Peg's advice about clothes you can cheat on -- in her words, "buy cheap" -- and get away with it, and those clothing items you should buy to last. Keep in mind that this is 1960s advice, apply it in terms of your wardrobe and lifestyle.  Some of us attend cocktail parties; some of us don't.

What You Can Cheat On

1. Summer shoes. (You'll have probably worn things like flip-flops and espadrilles out by the end of summer if you wear them frequently).


2. Summer cottons or synthetic dresses.  Peg says, "Dispose of them at the end of the season because at that point the cheap ones have lost their bounce.  If you don't dispose of them, you'll continue to wear them and they'll look their price."


3. Cocktail dresses, especially bright ones.  Peg says, "It takes a trained eye to discern the difference between a flame-colored $22.95 number and a flame-colored $98.95 number, particularly after a couple of Gibsons."


4. Jewelry, if you chose carefully.  (You know that you can get some fabulous-looking vintage costume jewelry at thrift stores, right?)


5. Handbags, ditto. 


6. Underwear, depending on your audience, if any.  (Ha ha ha!  Perhaps no one is looking?)

What You Can't Cheat On

1. Girdles and bras.  (You've seen countless articles in women's magazines about being fitted for the correct size bra.  And the more you spend on your Spanx-like undergarments, the better they will smooth you out and hold you in and the longer they will last.)
   


2. Shoes.  Peg says, "The trouble with cheap ones is that they lose their spurious good looks very rapidly but they won't quite fall apart so you go on wearing them."  (You put a lot of pressure and weight on your feet every day.  Whatever the size, shape, and height of the shoe, buy the best-fitting shoe that you can afford in order to problems like corns that occur because of ill-fitting shoes.) 


3. Belts.


4. Tailored suits, coats, dresses.


5. Nylon stockings.  Peg says, "Finding the right brand, size, gauge, and denier can take some doing; but once done, they look much better than the grocery type or factory seconds."  (If you do wear stockings or tights to work, as part of costume events, or for formal events this tip is very true.  Cheap stockings look just that -- cheap.)


6. Perfume.
   


7. Gloves, except for short white cottons.  (Consider this especially if you live in colder climates and wear gloves frequently in fall and winter).

Do you agree with Peg's advice (and mine) Dear Readers?  When it comes to fashion, in what ways do you economize?  Tips, ideas, and stories are always welcome....

I Hate to Housekeep Part Three: Chores You Don't Have to Do

This is one of my favorite chapters in all of Peg Bracken's little book, as she explains that there are many household chores that you really don't have to do, or chores that you don't have to do as often as the "experts" say you must. As she says, eventually these things will take care of themselves in one way or another.

So here's a few handy tips direct from Peg about what not to do in housekeeping:

• Don't wax your floors. Water splatters make dull spots on wax and they show up more.
  
• Don't iron pajamas, tea towels, or pillowcases. Just fold them neatly.  (Note from Collette:  who does this anyway?!?!)
  
• Don't scrub dirty cuffs and collars. Wet them, then dip them in your powdered detergent so they resemble a little child's sandy feet at the seashore, then throw them into the washer.
  
• Don't darn socks. Rub the sock heels with paraffin or soap after every three or four washings to preserve the heels. Otherwise, the lumps may give them blisters, and you'll spend on Band-aids what you saved on socks!
  
• Don't clean darkened aluminum pans you've cooked eggs in. You can do it, by putting a quart of water in the pan and adding two teaspoons of cream of tartar, then boiling it for a while. But it will swiftly darken the next time you cook an egg. Just keep a pan for egg cooking purposed discreetly in the cupboard.
  
• Don't polish furniture. Just give it a good coat of carnauba wax once a year and dust it occasionally thereafter, rubbing harder once in a while if there's a fingerprint. Next year, at the same time, wash off the old wax with soap and warm water and put fresh wax on.

Is there a household chore that you simply cannot stand? Peg has some advice for you:

"If there's a household job you particularly and truly loathe, don't believe the sunshine sisters who tell you you'll learn to love it if you do it their way.

I've read articles, for instance, on how to make ironing fun. You save it all up for the afternoon, they say, and you put on a Fresh House Dress. Then you open a window to catch the cool breeze, and you tune in the radio to your favorite program, and you sit on a stool behind your ironing board, and then you iron, pausing once in a while to crow with delight as you see the freshly ironed duds pile up.

But this is a lot of clam juice. You are still ironing; and if ironing makes you come all over introspective, you'd just better send your washing to the laundry. You can charge it off to Mental Health."

Until next time....

I Hate to Housekeep: a Few Housekeeping ABCs

If you like housekeeping, this post is NOT for you.

To continue our series for those who have better things to do than clean house,  I'd like to share a few of the ABCs of mid-20th century housekeeping according to our dear Peg Bracken.  This excerpt is from the "Bride's Own ABCs" chapter in The I Hate to Housekeep Book.   My particular favorite is Instant Housekeeping, which I plan to try sometime.  Unfortunately, my husband reads this blog so I'll have to wait a while until he's forgotten this post.

A is for Alphabet

"The alphabet is a handy thing to have around the house.  For instance, you can organize your canned goods with it, Applesauce to Zucchini.  Also whatever is in the medicine cabinet, Aspirin to Zinc ointment.  Also your herbs and spices, Allspice to Thyme."

E is for Equipment

"Once you've acquired the basic biggish things for cleaning, washing, and cooking, proceed as porcupines are said to make love:  quite carefully.  Borrow the gadget first, if you can.  Swap something for a week, in return for your sister-in-law's deep-fat fryer, to find out if you'd really use it if you had one.

Think of the attachments attachable to any self-respecting modern vacuum cleaner!  At least six...all of which you are privileged to use before you drag out the wax applicator and the floor polisher.

But Great-Grandma moved gently behind her broom for a while, then laid the dust with the polish-soaked dustcloth she fished out of her Mason jar, and had time to sit down to read Love or Lechery:  The Story of a Good Girl's Temptation, and a rattling good story it was, too."

I is for Instant Housekeeping

"This is for those occasions when you're going to be out of the house all day, but you don't want the house to look like it when your husband gets home.

Therefore, the minute he leaves in the morning, you steam into your Instant Housekeeping, which is usually housekeeping backward.
For instance, your own crash-plan might be:

1.  Set the table for dinner
2.  Build a modest pitcher of Martinis and set in the refrigerator
3.  Lay a fire
4.  Throw out the dead flowers
5.  Shut all the closet doors and cupboard drawers
6.  Do the breakfast dishes
7.  Make the bed

Then you can sweep, dust, and all that sort of thing, if there's still time.  But remember, when life is rich and full, and the chips are you know where, do last things first."

P is for Plastic Bags

"You will thank yourself for buying only bread that comes in reusable plastic bags and keeping all the bags.  You can use these bags in 500 different ways.  For instance:

1. Put one on each foot to protect good shoes if you must cook when you're dressed up
2. Use them in your dresser drawers as

• lingerie cases
• glove cases
• hosiery cases
• handkerchief cases

3. Freeze dampened clothes in them, when you get tired of ironing before you've finished
4. Use them as shoe covers when you travel
5. Put wet bathing suits and caps in them
6. Pack food in them for picnics
7. Slide them over ice-cream cartons to catch drips
8. Put cookies or leftover muffins in them to freeze
...plus 489 other purposes there isn't room to list here."

Z is for Zipper

"You aren't so apt to have trouble with them if you make sure they're zippered shut when you throw the clothes into the washer."

I hope that all of you reluctant housekeepers enjoyed this set of tips.  Until next time....

I Hate to Housekeep: Part One in a Series for the Reluctant Homemaker

As we are about a month away from the equinox and the turning of the winter into spring, I thought it would be a good time to introduce you to the vintage wisdom of the sarcastic and smart Peg Bracken, author of The I Hate to Housekeep Book:  When and How to Keep House Without Losing Your Mind. 

Each year I welcome spring, and each year I could do without the dreaded Spring Cleaning that I feel compelled to do each year regardless of how much I hate it.  I figured that some of you probably feel the same way.   Let's stay sane together during the Big Clean-up.

There are three kinds of housekeepers.  There is the spotless housekeeper, who won't stop, and there is the spotful housekeeper, who won't start.  Then there is the occasional or random housekeeper, whose book this is.

Peg's books about cooking, household, and etiquette, written in the early 1960s, filled a empty niche and became runaway bestsellers.  Heloise and Emily Post have their place, but it was Peg who offered useful advice to women who were honest enough to admit that they had better things to do than be Housekeeper of the Year.  And her books were charmingly illustrated by the incredible Hilary Knight, whom you may recognize as the illustrator of the Eloise books.  I have three of them because I adore her snarky wit.

This book is not for the Betty Crocker types of the 1960s or the Martha Stewart-wannabes of our modern day.  Peg wrote this book for the women, as she described them, who set the automatic timer on the oven to start dinner -- and then forget to put the food in.   Women like me.

You never heard another woman say, "I simply adore Marcia, she's the most meticulous housekeeper!"

Before we delve any further into Peg's genius for housekeeping without tears, there is some very important advice for you and I to keep in mind:

 Act immediately on whatever housewifely impulses come your way.

As Peg states, "...forget the old cliche that anything worth doing is worth doing well.  This isn't true.  When you're going at a high lope, a fast swipe at the sink is a lot better than no swipe at all."

My thoughts exactly. If I'm in the mood to do a load of laundry I had better NOT ignore it, or we run out of clean underpants around here.

I will share more timeless advice next week.  In the meantime, stop polishing those copper pots and give your dust catchers tea cozies to charity.